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| Lately, I haven't even considered "boyfriend"; everyone is in the friend zone. Don't get me wrong, I love Andy, but I want to be alone and the more time that goes by the more I don't want to be with him. And, I've been thinking about Casey so much =/
So Andy quit smoking. his temper is too short and too dramatic. I'm getting pretty sick of it. we actually got into a slight fight the other night. Didn't talk to him for two days, and then went out to an event that Casey was playing at with a lady friend of mine. Andy was there, but previous plans were to go together (before he was being a butt.)
I don't want to be with Casey, just friends, but I like him. He wants his ex. but at least he was honest.
On the positive side, I finished my AA. but I still have no idea what I'm doing.
I didn't do enough last time! D:
101. What is your number one goal for the next six months? "Find myself."
102. Would you ever give up your life to save someone else? It would totally depend on the 'someone else', but yes.
103. Are you happy with yourself? Yes.
104. What is the meaning of ‘peace’ to you? No arguments. Respectful, honest, understanding conversation. Not letting anything be a dramatic issue. Laughs and happiness?
105. What are three moral rules you will never break? I don't know.
106. What does it mean to allow another person to truly love you? I don't know that either.
107. Who or what do you think of when you think of love? Andy.
108. If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end? LOL, my life wouldn't be an exciting novel.
109. What would you not give up for $1,000,000 in cash? My best friend.
110. When do you feel most like yourself? There are multiple times.
111. When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” Not really, no.
112. What is your greatest challenge? Growing up? That's challenging.
113. How do you know when it’s time to continue holding on or time to let go? These are hard.
114. How do you define success? Doing what you love and being happy.
115. If someone could tell you the exact day and time you are going to die, would you want them to tell you? No.
116. If I could grant you one wish what would you wish for? Motivation.
117. What have you read online recently that inspired you? This.
118. Why do religions that advocate unity divide the human race? Too many rules, I would think.
119. If you could live one day of your life over again, what day would you choose? I don't know if there's a day I'd pick for this.
120. What can money not buy? Happiness.
121. If you left this life tomorrow, how would you be remembered? Adorable. ahah.
122. Beyond the titles that others have given you, who are you? I'm a Heather.
123. If you could live the next 24 hours and then erase it and start over just once, what would you do? I don't know. I don't know what that day will consist of.
124. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes? Maybe?
125. What word best describes the way you’ve spent the last month of your life? Eventful?
126. What makes everyone smile? Acknowledgement?
127. What do you owe yourself? Nothing? Am I supposed to?
128. What would your ‘priceless’ Mastercard-style commercial be? lolol i dunno. I've had a few of those moments but I don't remember them really.
129. Can you think of a time when impossible became possible? Not at the moment, no.
130. Why do you matter? Because I'm Heather.
131. How have you changed in the last five years? Oh God, almost every way. I do things, I talk to people, I don't just sit on my computer all day everyday.
132. What are you sure of in your life? I'll be happy someday.
133. When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of? My house?
134. What’s the difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? Accepting things allows you to move on. Settling means you're not allowing yourself to be any happier and get the best.
135. How many of your friends would you trust with your life? One.
136. What’s your definition of heaven? I don't have one.
137. What is your most prized possession? I don't know.
138. How would you describe yourself in one sentence? I'm my own species.
139. What stands between you and happiness? Knowing what I'm doing, who I am, being a person and independent, motivation.
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| I'm actually pretty sad about this whole Casey thing. I've started to miss him. I don't really know the kid. I miss his hugs and that smile. I dunno. =/
98. What is the most important thing you could do right now in your personal life? I'm struggling so much as to what that is. I hate my job, I might get my AA after this semester, and I have no idea what I'm doing. At all. I need to make some deep, thoughtful decisions. Me and Andy are thinking Australia to work.
99. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, who would you ask and what would you ask? I want to hear Charles Manson's story.
100. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? God, I have no idea. I have no idea what I want to do.
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| EVEN LESS! Preheat is on Friday, and my God am I exciteddddd. <333
95. What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life? Off, Fun, Confusing.
96. Is it ever right to do the wrong thing? Is it ever wrong to do the right thing? Yes. Ehhh, no.
97. How would you describe ‘freedom’ in your own words? On your own, doing whatever you want? I don't know.
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| jack johnson makes me smile.
lol, screwed up my chances with casey, if i was ever wanting to give that a try. oh well, less stress on me.
i don't know what i'm doing as far as andy. i've stopped thinking about it. i haven't worked too much on myself, but it's slowly getting somewhere? school's going okay, i work at my shitty job a bit. almost hung out with some people, but fucking homework got in the way.
slowly, but surely, i hope.
74. What does it mean to be human? Fuck if I know, I'm not human. I'm a Heather.
75. If you looked into the heart of your enemy, what do you think you would find that is different from what is in your own heart? I don't necessarily have an enemy.
76. What do you love most about yourself? I'm not like everyone else. I'm not saying that because everyone else does, I'm saying it because it's true. So many people tell me that.
77. Where would you most like to go and why? EVERYWHERE.
78. Is it more important to do what you love or to love what you are doing? Do what you love.
79. What do you imagine yourself doing ten years from now? I have no fucking idea.
80. What small act of kindness were you once shown that you will never forget? Bear giving me his mouse box. <3 we were just a couple trippin kids very entertained by a box. we asked if we could have it and him and his lady said no. they had it six years. the next day he sent rabbitt to find me because he wanted to give it to me.
81. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? I don't know. like, there are a few things I've liked, but I can't really fully remember.
82. Do you own your things or do your things own you? I own my things.
83. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones? Lose the old ones. You don't want to be stuck in the past.
84. How do you deal with someone in a position of power who wants you to fail? I succeed.
85. What do you have that you cannot live without? Optimism.
86. When you close your eyes what do you see? A number of things. I see what's on my mind.
87. What sustains you on a daily basis? I'm going to go with optimism? I'm a pretty negative person, in a different way. I'm an optimistic pessimist. I'm going to keep here for my adventures. This probably doesn't make sense. lolol, I get it though.
88. What are your top five personal values? Um.
89. Why must you love someone enough to let them go? You want them to be happy, and if they don't want you to make them happy, you need to stop being selfish and let them be. But maybe that's only one example?
90. Do you ever celebrate the green lights? In a stop light? If so, yes. lol Other than that I don't know what you're talking about.
91. What personal prisons have you built out of fears? None really.
92. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? Go to Burning Mannnn <3
93. Why are you, you? Because I'm not you.
94. If you haven’t achieved it yet what do you have to lose? My future?
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| Not sure if i should go to Ignition. After everything that happened, I don't know I'm supposed to feel? Casey doesn't say much, or really hasn't said anything in the past few weeks, sooo. Whatever, I guess.
68. What is the simplest truth you can express in words? uhhhh, what?
69. What gives your life meaning? Adventures, love, happiness. Not sure how to answer this question, but this is what I'm about.
70. Can there be happiness without sadness? Pleasure without pain? Peace without war? Yes, I would think.
71. What’s the one thing you’d like others to remember about you at the end of your life? How loving and caring and happy I was.
72. Is there such a thing as perfect? Yes. All the flaws can make something perfect.
73. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Not a large one? Kinda? I don't knowww.
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